图书馆

今天是搬进新家的第一天，早上又让宝生气了，不知道为什么有时会陷入一种状态，会注意不到周围的东西和事情，How to deal with it?
中午吃完饭去图书馆，路上比较顺利，图书馆过的也不错，WC也很容易，就是6点左右时感觉脚比较冷，也许是离空调出风口比较近的缘故吧。


今天很早就被吵醒了，想想他昨天上网看帖子而不和我一起收拾，心情极差，想了很多很多不好的，早上他做事不合我意，我很生气就还拿他出气，然后大哭了一场，楼下吃饭，来图书馆，心情平静，凉爽舒适，不明白自己早上的想法做法。但他的缺点我很确定，我很讨厌，感觉改变不了他，也不知怎么和他相处，好累。先不要急着做任何决定，说任何的话，先弄清楚自己。

搬新家了

今天搬新家了，第一次没看清，没有那么好，从收拾东西到打车到搬家，说不出的感觉，不是很好，但也有开心的时候，一家马来人帮我们抬轮椅，差点压到她的脚，压到了她的鞋子。第一次和王波在外面吃食阁，2菜一鱼。很快乐，他的腿放到我的腿上，我就抱着他的脚吃饭，心里很美。我要了2份土豆，我知道他一份不够吃，也不知道他知道吗。有风吹来很凉快，看着周围的人，片刻的宁静闲散，有了出国旅游的感觉。我最近好迷茫，很多对生活的想法都变了，还有很多不确定，需要思考。家在路上，人在旅途。好累，想想禅说的，活在当下，什么都不想了。

烦

我好烦他，不想想和他有关的一切，不想想感情，只想安静的做自己的事，自己生活，虽然在婚姻中，但目前想过独身生活，视他为不存在。

出离心

突然醒了，打开佛教音乐，正好0：00点。离开的那刻到了吗？生活让我越来想家修行，生活越来越让我觉得佛说的都是对的。从小到现在生活得越来越痛苦，这是宿命吗？!拼了命也改变不了周围的世界，周围的人，越改变越糟糕，却还要纠缠执着，我是否该放下这一切。苦苦坚走到现在好累，越来越没有希望，我的世界找不到出口，总是在黑暗里苦苦挣扎。

悔恨

想想宝现在正承受着怎样的身体、心理和痛苦。肯定在努力让自己达到最好的状态。我没能给他好的安慰和鼓励，相反却那样对他。我怎么这样，真正自私的人是我。

如果换位，我是他，我肯定没他做得好。

改变

不能在一个人待着，我会发疯的，今天去看房了，之前很不愿意去做这件事，一想就头疼很怵头，今天很烦想出去溜溜就去看房了。
事后觉得很容易，和人接触也没什么，和外界接触才能处于正常的状态，正常的思考。从公寓出来看着组屋想起了刚来新加坡时的感觉，觉得自己再不能一个人待着了。今天坐在车上想起了王波的许多好，才能够体谅到他。
以后想天天去图书馆，觉得在那里待着各个方面都比现在好。

Money

As we are still young,the most important thing for us is to improve ourselves,to earn money not just saving money.

Dear Zero

I feel very sad looking at you busy doing many things and looked so tired,but i can only do few things to help you。
It was my fault but let you afford all the stress,from body to mind.
I used to hide my real feeling and the stress on me,make myself looked happy,so that can let you happy.But it's not correct sometimes let you misunderstanding my status.
From now on i will completely show my real feeling to you,the more we communicate the easier things will be.Also i will try to do more things that i can do to let you have more time to rest.
Love you^_^

Love Your Life

However mean your life is,meet it and live it ;do not shun it and call it hard names.It is not so bad as you are.It looks poorest when you are richest.The fault-finder will find faults in paradise.Love your life,poor as it is.You may perhaps have some pleasant,thrilling,glorious hourss,even in a poor-house.The setting sun is reflected from the windows of the alms-house as brightly as from the rich man's abode;the snow melts before its door as early in the spring.I do not see but a quiet mind may live as contentedly there,and have as cheering thoughts,as in a palace.The town's poor seem to me often to live the most independent lives of any.May be they are simply great enough to receive without misgiving.Most think that they are above being supported by the town;but it often happens that they are not above supporting themselves by dishonest means.which should be more disreputable.Cultivate poverty like a garden herb,like sage.Do not trouble yourself much to get new things,whether clothes or friends,Turn the old,return to them.Things do not change;we change.Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts.

Hang In There

Dufficulties arise in the lives of us all

What is most important is dealing with the hard times, coping with the changes, and getting through to the other side where the sun is still shining just for you.

It takes a strong person to deal with tough times and difficult choices. But you are a strong person.

It takes courage.But you possess the inner courage to see you through.

It takes being an active participant in your life. But you are in the driver's seat, and you can determine the direction you want tomorrow to go in.

Hang in there... and take care to see that you don't lose sight of the one thing that is constant, beautiful,and true:

Everything will be fine---and it will turn out that way because of the special kind of person you are.

So...beginning today and lasting a lifetime through---Hang in there, and don't be afraid to feel like the morning sun is shining...just for you.

Work and Pleasure

To be really happy and really safe, one ought to have at least two or three hobbies, and they must all be real. It is no use starting late in life to say: “I will take an interest in this or that.” Such an attempt only aggravates the strain of mental effort. A man may acquire great knowledge of topics unconnected with his daily work, and yet hardly get any benefit or relief. It is no use doing what you like; you have got to like what you do. Broadly speaking, human being may be divided into three classes: those who are toiled to death, those who are worried to death, and those who are bored to death. It is no use offering the manual laborer, tired out with a hard week’s sweat and effort, the chance of playing a game of football or baseball on Saturday afternoon. It is no use inviting the politician or the professional or business man, who has been working or worrying about serious things for six days, to work or worry about trifling things at the weekend.It may also be said that rational, industrious, useful human beings are divided into two classes: first, those whose work is work and whose pleasure is pleasure; and secondly, those whose work and pleasure are one. Of these the former are the majority. They have their compensations. The long hours in the office or the factory bring with them as their reward, not only the means of sustenance, but a keen appetite for pleasure even in its simplest and most modest forms. But Fortune’s favored children belong to the second class. Their life is a natural harmony. For them the working hours are never long enough. Each day is a holiday, and ordinary holidays when they come are grudged as enforced interruptions in an absorbing vacation. Yet to both classes the need of an alternative outlook, of a change of atmosphere, of a diversion of effort, is essential. Indeed, it may well be that those whose work is their pleasure are those who most need the means of banishing it at intervals from their minds.

To be or not to be

Outside the Bible, these six words are the most famous in all the literature of the world. They were spoken by Hamlet when he was thinking aloud, and they are the most famous words in Shakespeare because Hamlet was speaking not only for himself but also for every thinking man and woman. To be or not to be, to live or not to live, to live richly and abundantly and eagerly, or to live dully and meanly and scarcely. A philosopher once wanted to know whether he was alive or not, which is a good question for everyone to put to himself occasionally. He answered it by saying: "I think, therefore am."
But the best definition of existence ever saw did another philosopher who said: "To be is to be in relations." If this true, then the more relations a living thing has, the more it is alive. To live abundantly means simply to increase the range and intensity of our relations. Unfortunately we are so constituted that we get to love our routine. But apart from our regular occupation how much are we alive? If you are interest-ed only in your regular occupation, you are alive only to that extent. So far as other things are concerned--poetry and prose, music, pictures, sports, unselfish friendships, politics, international affairs--you are dead. Contrariwise, it is true that every time you acquire a new interest--even more, a new accomplishment--you increase your power of life. No one who is deeply interested in a large variety of subjects can remain unhappy; the real pessimist is the person who has lost interest. Bacon said that a man dies as often as he loses a friend. But we gain new life by contacts, new friends. What is supremely true of living objects is only less true of ideas, which are also alive. Where your thoughts are, there will your live be also. If your thoughts are confined only to your business, only to your physical welfare, only to the narrow circle of the town in which you live, then you live in a narrow circumscribed life. But if you are interested in what is going on in China, then you are living in China~ if you’re interested in the characters of a good novel, then you are living with those highly interesting people, if you listen intently to fine music, you are away from your immediate surroundings and living in a world of passion and imagination.
To be or not to be--to live intensely and richly, merely to exist, that depends on ourselves. Let widen and intensify our relations. While we live, let live!

Virtue

Sweet day,so cool,so calm,so bright!
The bridal of the earth and sky-
The dew shall weep thy fall to-night;
For thou must die.
Sweet rose,whose hue angry and brave,
Bids the rash gazer wipe his eye,
Thy root is ever in its grave,
And thou must die.
Sweet spring,full of sweet days and roses,
A box where sweets compacted lie,
My music shows ye have your closes,
And all must die,
Only a sweet and virtuous soul,
Like season'd timber,never gives;
But though the whole world turn to coal,
Then chiefly lives.

The Goodness of Life

Though there is much to be concerned about, there is far, far more for which to be thankful. Though life’s goodness can at times be overshadowed, it is never outweighed.
For every single act that is senselessly destructive, there are thousands more small, quiet acts of love, kindness and compassion. For every person who seeks to hurt, there are many, many more who devote their lives to helping and to healing.
There is goodness to life that cannot be denied. In the most magnificent vistas and in the smallest details, look closely, for that goodness always comes shining through.
There is no limit to the goodness of life. It grows more abundant with each new encounter. The more you experience and appreciate the goodness of life, the more there is to be lived. Even when the cold winds blow and the world seems to be covered in foggy shadows, the goodness of life lives on. Open your eyes, open your heart, and you will see that goodness is everywhere. Though the goodness of life seems at times to suffer setbacks, it always endures. For in the darkest moment it becomes vividly clear that life is a priceless treasure. And so the goodness of life is made even stronger by the very things that would oppose it.
Time and time again when you feared it was gone forever you found that the goodness of life was really only a moment away. Around the next corner, inside every moment, the goodness of life is there to surprise and delight you.
Take a moment to let the goodness of life touch your spirit and calm your thoughts. Then, share your good fortune with another. For the goodness of life grows more and more magnificent each time it is given away.
Though the problems constantly scream for attention and the conflicts appear to rage ever stronger, the goodness of life grows stronger still, quietly, peacefully, with more purpose and meaning than ever before.

The Happy door

Happiness is like a pebble dropped into a pool to set in motion an ever-widening circle of ripples. As Stevenson has said, being happy is a duty.
There is no exact definition of the word happiness. Happy people are happy for all sorts of reasons. The key is not wealth or physical well-being, since we find beggars, invalids and so-called failures, who are extremely happy.
Being happy is a sort of unexpected dividend. But staying happy is an accomplishment, a triumph of soul and character. It is not selfish to strive for it. It is, indeed, a duty to ourselves and others. Being unhappy is like an infectious disease. It causes people to shrink away from the sufferer. He soon finds himself alone, miserable and embittered. There is, however, a cure so simple as to seem, at first glance, ridiculous; if you don’t feel happy, pretend to be! It works. Before long you will find that instead of repelling people, you attract them. You discover how deeply rewarding it is to be the center of wider and wider circles of good will. Then the make-believe becomes a reality. You possess the secret of peace of mind, and can forget yourself in being of service to others.
Being happy, once it is realized as a duty and established as a habit, opens doors into unimaginable gardens thronged with grateful friends.

The Love of Beauty

The love of beauty is an essential part of all healthy human nature. It is a moral quality. The absence of it is not an assured ground of condemnation, but the presence of it is an invariable sign of goodness of heart. In proportion to the degree in which it is felt will probably be the degree in which nobleness and beauty of character will be attained. Natural beauty is an all-pervading presence. The universe is its temple. It unfolds into the numberless flowers of spring. It waves in the branches of trees and the green blades of grass. It haunts the depths of the earth and the sea. It gleams from the hues of the shell and the precious stone. And not only these minute objects but the oceans, the mountains, the clouds, the stars, the rising and the setting sun---all overflow with beauty. This beauty is so precious, and so congenial to our tenderest and noblest feelings, that it is painful to think of the multitude of people living in the midst of it and yet remaining almost blind to it.

All persons should seek to become acquainted with the beauty in nature. There is not a worm we tread upon, nor a leaf that dances merrily as it falls before the autumn winds, but calls for our study and admiration. The power to appreciated beauty not merely increases our sources of happiness---it enlarges our moral nature, too. Beauty calms our restlessness and dispels our cares. Go into the fields or the woods, spend a summer day by the sea or the mountains, and all your little perplexities and anxieties will vanish. Listen to sweet music, and your foolish fears and petty jealousies will pass away. The beauty of the world helps us to seek and find the beauty of goodness.

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Be Happy

“The days that make us happy make us wise.”----John Masefield when I first read this line by England’s Poet Laureate, it startled me. What did Masefield mean? Without thinking about it much, I had always assumed that the opposite was true. But his sober assurance was arresting. I could not forget it. Finally, I seemed to grasp his meaning and realized that here was a profound observation. The wisdom that happiness makes possible lies in clear perception, not fogged by anxiety nor dimmed by despair and boredom, and without the blind spots caused by fear.Active happiness---not mere satisfaction or contentment ---often comes suddenly, like an April shower or the unfolding of a bud. Then you discover what kind of wisdom has accompanied it. The grass is greener; bird songs are sweeter; the shortcomings of your friends are more understandable and more forgivable. Happiness is like a pair of eyeglasses correcting your spiritual vision. Nor are the insights of happiness limited to what is near around you. Unhappy, with your thoughts turned in upon your emotional woes, your vision is cut short as though by a wall. Happy, the wall crumbles.The long vista is there for the seeing. The ground at your feet, the world about you----people, thoughts, emotions, pressures---are now fitted into the larger scene. Everything assumes a fairer proportion. And here is the beginning of wisdom.

Clear Your Mental Space

Think about the last time you felt a negative emotion---like stress, anger, or frustration. What was going through your mind as you were going through that negativity? Was your mind cluttered with thoughts? Or was it paralyzed, unable to think?The next time you find yourself in the middle of a very stressful time, or you feel angry or frustrated, stop. Yes, that’s right, stop. Whatever you’re doing, stop and sit for one minute. While you’re sitting there, completely immerse yourself in the negative emotion. Allow that emotion to consume you. Allow yourself one minute to truly feel that emotion. Don’t cheat yourself here. Take the entire minute---but only one minute---to do nothing else but feel that emotion. When the minute is over, ask yourself, “Am I wiling to keep holding on to this negative emotion as I go through the rest of the day?”Once you’ve allowed yourself to be totally immersed in the emotion and really fell it, you will be surprised to find that the emotion clears rather quickly. If you feel you need to hold on to the emotion for a little longer, that is OK. Allow yourself another minute to feel the emotion. When you feel you’ve had enough of the emotion, ask yourself if you’re willing to carry that negativity with you for the rest of the day. If not, take a deep breath. As you exhale, release all that negativity with your breath. This exercise seems simple---almost too simple. But, it is very effective. By allowing that negative emotion the space to be truly felt, you are dealing with the emotion rather than stuffing it down and trying not to feel it. You are actually taking away the power of the emotion by giving it the space and attention it needs. When you immerse yourself in the emotion, and realize that it is only emotion, it loses its control. You can clear your head and proceed with your task.Try it. Next time you’re in the middle of a negative emotion, give yourself the space to feel the emotion and see what happens. Keep a piece of paper with you that says the following: Stop. Immerse for one minute. Do I want to keep this negativity? Breath deep, exhale, release. Move on!This will remind you of the steps to the process. Remember; take the time you need to really immerse yourself in the emotion. Then, when you feel you’ve felt it enough, release it---really let go of it. You will be surprised at how quickly you can move on from a negative situation and get to what you really want to do!

Mirror, Mirror-What do I See?

A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world. Everyone you meet is your mirror.
Mirrors have a very particular function. They reflect the image in front of them. Just as a physical mirror serves as the vehicle to reflection, so do all of the people in our lives.
When we see something beautiful such as a flower garden, that garden serves as a reflection. In order to see the beauty in front of us, we must be able to see the beauty inside of ourselves. When we love someone, it’s a reflection of loving ourselves. When we love someone, it’s a reflection of loving ourselves. We have often heard things like “I love how I am when I’m with that person.” That simply translates into “I’m able to love me when I love that other person.” Oftentimes, when we meet someone new, we feel as though we “click”. Sometimes it’s as if we’ve known each other for a long time. That feeling can come from sharing similarities. Just as the “mirror” or other person can be a positive reflection, it is more likely that we’ll notice it when it has a negative connotation. For example, it’s easy to remember times when we have met someone we’re not particularly crazy about. We may have some criticism in our mind about the person. This is especially true when we get to know someone with whom we would rather spend less time.
Frequently, when we dislike qualities in other people, ironically, it’s usually the mirror that’s speaking to us.
I began questioning myself further each time I encountered someone that I didn’t particularly like. Each time, I asked myself, “What is it about that person that I don’t like?” and then “Is there something similar in me?” in every instance, I could see a piece of that quality in me, and sometimes I had to really get very introspective. So what did that mean?
It means that just as I can get annoyed or disturbed when I notice that aspect in someone else, I better reexamine my qualities and consider making some changes. Even if I’m not willing to make a drastic change, at least I consider how I might modify some of the things that I’m doing.
At times we meet someone new and feel distant, disconnected, or disgusted. Although we don’t want to believe it, and it’s not easy or desirable to look further, it can be a great learning lesson to figure out what part of the person is being reflected in you. It’s simply just another way to create more self-awareness.